Yesterday, Tuesday, August 12th, 2014 was Graduation Day from IRH. As we walked out of IRH after our last appointment with Dr. A, I couldn’t help but walk out with a very heavy heart. Even trying to write this post, I am really struggling and overcome with all these emotions. On the one hand, we did it!! We told infertility she could kiss our a$$ because we were determined to have a baby. Graduating from the IRH means that we have a very healthy Baby Rose growing, and Dr. A feels confident that we no longer need his services. So we get discharged back to my regular OB/GYN. We are so excited and thankful that we were able to make it to this point, and for the gift we were given.
Yet on the other hand, I am sad to leave IRH. We are graduating one week shy of our five month anniversary at IRH. This place has been like a second home for the past few months; at times we were seen in the office twice a week. The staff, the Doctors, the other patients have all became a second family to us. I have never been to any facility where the staff is as caring, compassionate, and understanding as at IRH. From the very first appointment to the last, we were always provided with exceptional service. And the Doctors. I don’t even know where to start on this one. Dr. A has become my Hero. From his positivity, his ability to calm me when I felt like the world was crashing in, his smile, his honesty, his gentle and kind heart; he truly became my Hero. He provided me with the most precious gift that I honestly at times was not sure I would ever be able to have. I wish that we could stay on with Dr. A for the duration of our pregnancy. But I know that there are many other women out there that are waiting for their turn for Dr. A to work his magic for them. I will never forget Dr. A and all that he has done for me.
And then there are the other patients. Infertility is an awful disease that I would never wish on anyone. But if it were not for this disease, I would never have been able to meet some of the most amazing, strong, and inspiring women that I have been blessed to know. I know I have made some life-long friends. And so for that reason, I want to dedicate this entry to my fellow warriors. Some of you are members of the IRH Ladies Night In (LNI), some are my Fairy Godmothers, and some are just readers embarking on their own path. But for all of you courageous women- this is for you!!!
My Fellow Infertility Warriors:
I want to thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey with you, and for being by my side during mine. I know we all wished we had met on different terms, but I am thankful that our paths did cross. You all have been a source of inspiration, guidance, support, and love that made it possible for me to get through this crazy roller coaster.
At the very beginning of my journey, I felt terribly alone. Surrounded in a world where friends and family were popping out kids left and right, I did not have a single person that could relate to my situation. People could empathize and they could feel sad for you, but nobody knew exactly how unbearable at times this diagnosis could be. Until I met you all. I remember my very first Ladies Night In meeting, we discussed how two little words of “Me Too”, could change your perspective on life. I WAS NOT ALONE. Finding a group of women with similar issues, fears, and disappointments helped make the disease a little more bearable.
And then came the support. I knew that at any point in the day or night, I could reach a fellow warrior through the secret Facebook page. We shared our stories, offered encouragement throughout treatment cycles, and gave a shoulder to lean on when it was needed. Some of you I have never met face to face, and others were smiling, familiar faces at meetings every month. Yet every single one of you have touched my life in a way that I did not think was possible.
I could NOT have gotten through this process with the help of all you ladies. From my two cycle buddies, my two favorite Fairy Godmothers, the dedication of the monthly meetings and group page at IRH (Thank you Tara!!!!), and the strength and compassion of all you wonderful women. You all truly helped to make this process much more endurable for me. You gave me the strength I needed to survive.
I hope that each and every one of you will one day get your miracle too. There is not a single day that goes by where I do not take one minute to pray for all my fellow warriors. I know that sometimes the days can be darker than you ever imagined possible. The pain can become unbearable. The sadness that comes with this disease seems to confiscate every part of your entire being. But please do not give up hope!!! I truly believe that God has something planned for all of us. Hold onto that dream of becoming a mother, and do not ever let it slip away. Refuse to let it beat you down. Keep fighting! And when it seems like you have no fight left, remember why you held on for so long to begin with.
I call you all warriors because I honestly have never met a more enduring, strong, resilient group of fighters in my life. I want to leave you all with one last farewell wish (a really good Pinterest find!):
“Today I am sending you an extra dose of courage…and a deep sense of knowing that your dreams are within reach. I am sending you encouraging words to help you keep going…especially when you feel like giving up. I am sending you laughter, the kind that cleanses your soul…and I am sending you the bright love of your many angels to help you walk your path with the deep knowing that you are enough.”
Keep fighting warriors and I hope to see you all on the Graduates page very soon!!